Limbo
Hello! This is my first update to this site and I am very happy to be here. I've been browsing other websites on Neocities and they are just incredible, you folks have a lot of talent. I have never been too savvy with technology but I wanted to create a simple personal blog to share my thoughts, art, and music that I enjoy with others. I have struggled with my mental health for a long time, but the purpose of this site is to actively choose to share my positive thoughts despite the negative ones being more present and persistent. Should I choose to share an experience or emotion that is negative, I will make the intention to do so with purpose. After all, bad days are never the end of the world, though they almost aways feel like it. Infinite Limbo was the perfect title for this project. It is true that we are all very confused, we are all lost in a state of indecision, waiting for a perfect clarity that we will likely never find. On some days we may have faith that the Universe or God has our best interest in mind, but on some days we feel as if the nature of reality, and the possibility of what's beyond it, is cold, uncaring, or perhaps not even there. I hope that I might inspire or further encourage others to think the way that I do: to find great meaning in the most trivial of details, even in suffering. To say "it's not that deep" is a disservice to humanity's greatest gift. Purpose is never obvious, we will always be in "Infinite Limbo", but that should never be a reason to give up trying to find it.
Howdy, World Wide Web! I haven't forgotten about infinite limbo, pinky swear! Boy, it has been an eventful summer for me. I just got back from a solo cross-country road trip. The plan was to not return to my home-state, but I think I need a bit more time before I can leave forever. I still successfully drove all the way to California without a GPS, which is a wild accomplishment for me. I kept to my word about opposing the smartphones, so even though I could probably have an Iphone now that I'm back, I'm much happier without one. A lot of you folks on neo-cities seem very pro-tech. I'm around the same age as many of you and spent the majority of my adolescent years on Tumblr, Kik, and what have you. Over time though, and especially within the past year, it's started to feel distant to me. I've never had many friends, even as an adult now, and the internet was once an oasis for the human connection my real life deprived me of. Now it feels more inhuman and uncomfortable to talk to online strangers than it is to sit awkward and alone in a coffee shop, kind of funny. I'm hoping you guys will keep opening my mind to the digital world because you are some really intelligent people, seriously. So much has happened recently but of course not everything is for the entire world to know so I will leave it at that for now. Some personal reflection questions for the readers: 1) How comfortable are you with the role technology plays in your life? Would you like more of it/less of it? In what ways does it benefit or harm you? 2) What did you accomplish this month? There is no victory too small to take pride in. Talk soon :-)
Long time, no see! Hope everyone is holding up well through the beginning of autumn! Nothing much has happened externally since we last spoke and I suppose that's a good thing. In fact, I wouldn't even mind if it got more uneventful. I've been trying to save some money to move out again so I got a job at a movie theatre. Recently I've become a bit reclusive in a cozy sort of way. I've been reading a book called The Washington Square Ensemble by Madison Bell and my current favorite song is America's 'Sister Golden Hair' because I'm in an unabashedly corny phase. Anyways, the reason I say nothing much has happened externally is because most of my growth this last month has been internal. I've been feeling secure in the person that I am without anyone else around and it's a nice feeling. As the days get shorter and the nights get colder, all I can strive to be is the crackling hearth that keeps my fellow Man warm. Today's question: what's the strangest thing you've seen substituted for the carrot as a snowman's nose?
Greetings! It's been awhile...I'm here to make an update on the new year so far. Frankly, I wish I could say it's going well. In some ways it is: I finally got a full time job, I've been running and exercising consistently, I only drink on Fridays now. These are good things sure, but the little holes in my life are growing into a deep, black chasm at an alarming pace. That's not to say I'm not keeping at it, but in all honesty, I couldn't tell you why I am. There are some species of sharks that will die if they stop swimming. I feel like that a lot. I don't have much meaning in my life other than my day to day routine, so recently I've been utilizing the human connection equivalent of bargain brand cereal. My coworkers aren't my friends, there's a mutual awareness between all of us on that fact, but working on a Saturday night with a bunch of folks my age who joke around with me sure creates a sturdy illusion. Yeah that guy I've been messaging online isn't actually interested in me, but the things he says to me are sweet enough that I can let myself believe he could be. Back to the shark analogy, I guess that's how I keep swimming. It would be nice to have someone to talk to, to share things with. I used to feel really passionate about music and art, but every day those things have less and less of a place in my life which is its own grieving process. People love to say things about being healthy and stable, how sustaining effort into being "better" draws people to you, but it isn't that cut and dry. It's not so bad sometimes. I'm making a lot more money, I look decent, and outside of this blog I still try to hold on to my stubborn optimism. I can see the sadness in my eyes but I know I have to be strong. The shark has to fight for itself, the shark has to keep swimming or it will die. Happy belated Valenentine's Day, I love you. Until next time.